When Should You Read Your Wedding Vows? Let’s Break It Down
A question I hear asked all the time as a wedding day content creator is: when are we supposed to do our wedding vows?
And the truth is, there isn’t just one way!
After capturing so many wedding days (and having my own in 2024), I’ve seen vows done in so many different ways - each one just as meaningful as the next.
So if you’re feeling unsure about what’s “right,” this is your reminder: you get to choose what feels best for you.
All The Different Ways You Can Do Your Vows
Most people picture vows happening during the ceremony - standing at the altar, in front of all your family and friends.
And while that’s beautiful, it’s definitely not your only option.
Some couples choose to read their vows privately during a first look.
Some save them for the ceremony.
Some share them the night before.
And some decide not to read personal vows at all.
There’s no rulebook here - just different ways to experience a really special moment in a way that feels right for you.
Private Wedding Vows: A Quiet Moment Just For You Two
Private wedding vows have become so popular, and for good reason!
Your wedding day can be busy, emotional, and filled with people - so carving out a quiet moment to be alone together can feel really grounding.
I’ve captured so many couples reading their vows during their first look, and it’s always one of the most emotional parts of the day.
It’s raw, personal, and completely uninterrupted.
You can take your time, say exactly what you want, and fully be in the moment without an audience.
Ceremony Wedding Vows: Sharing The Moment With Everyone You Love
On the other hand, there’s something incredibly special about sharing your vows during your wedding ceremony.
You’re surrounded by your people, standing in the space where you’re officially becoming married - it’s a moment that holds so much weight.
If you love the idea of your friends and family hearing your words and being part of that experience, traditional wedding vows might feel right for you.
You Can Also Do Both - Private Vows and Ceremony Vows
This is something I’ve been seeing more and more couples do.
You can keep your longer, more personal vows private - and then share shorter, more traditional vows during your ceremony.
That way, you get the intimacy and the shared experience.
It really is the best of both worlds.
Or… You Don’t Have To Do Vows At All
This might be the most important thing to hear: you don’t have to write personal wedding vows.
Not everyone feels comfortable speaking in front of a crowd or putting their feelings into words like that — and that’s okay.
You can absolutely stick with traditional wedding vows and still have a meaningful, emotional ceremony.
And if you still love the idea of sharing something personal, you can always write each other letters to read the morning of your wedding. It’s a really special, private way to express how you’re feeling without the pressure of an audience - and it often ends up being one of the most emotional parts of the day.
Choose What Feels Best For YOU
At the end of the day, your wedding shouldn’t feel like a performance - it should feel like you.
As a wedding content creator, I’ve seen it all, and the most meaningful moments are always the ones that feel natural and true to the couple.
Whether that’s private vows, ceremony vows, both, or none at all — it’s about creating a day that reflects your relationship.
So, talk about it together.
Decide what feels the most comfortable, the most exciting, and the most you.
Because there’s no “right” way to do your vows - just your way.
Capturing Candid Moments That Feel Like You
I’m Mariah - a New England based wedding content creator here to capture the moments that matter the most: the behind-the-scenes laughter, the teary-eyed vows, and all the in-between memories that make your wedding day yours.
✨ Inquire with Always More and let’s create content that lets you relive your vows - however you choose to share them - over and over again.
